I want to write about how today I talked to another stranger and pushed past my fears, but I didn’t. Any of the thousand excuses, running through my mind, could be chosen as my redeemer, but I won’t. The only truth is that I just couldn’t do it, too nervous, so I failed. The thought of going over to my neighbors and saying hi freaked me out inside. The whole situation just sounded awful inside my head. I kept trying figure out what I would say, even telling the truth sounded weird. If a stranger came over to talk with me, because of some challenge, I would be confused. More lame excuses, I was just too scared to talk to someone.
My roommate told me I should go over to a friend’s house and meet his roommates. This sounded like a feasible idea and at least I would know someone. My roommate also came with me as moral support too. The first problem was that we had no idea which apartment he lives in. They have an with an upper and lower apartment, so we randomly chose the upper. I knocked on the door, still not knowing what to say, and a stranger opened the door. I say stranger because I should have just tried talking to this guy, but sadly I didn’t. We guessed wrong because my friend did not live there. Actually, my friend happened to be out of town for the weekend, so I was again strangerless. I remained this way for the rest of the night.
Today did not go as I had planned, and I have to remind myself that I am human, an imperfect being. I still have lots to learn about conquering my fears and getting back up from failure. As there will be times when I fail, like today, and I have to choose to learn from it and try harder next time. As Albert Einstein would say, “you never fail until you stop trying” because true failure comes from giving up. It looks like I am going to have to take this challenge one step at a time, learning from every experience. Since I go to college, there will be more opportunities for me to talk to someone during the weekdays. Hopefully, I can build up some confidence before the next weekend.
My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure. ~ Abraham Lincoln
Using the wall, I continued trying to do a handstand and I did it three times today. Mostly, I need to improve my shoulder strength and balance. My arms just get way too tired after holding myself up for a minute.