Delimit My Life

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing" ~ Hellen Keller

Archive for the tag “Abraham Lincoln”

There is growth in failure

Your failures do not define you

I want to write about how today I talked to another stranger and pushed past my fears, but I didn’t. Any of the thousand excuses, running through my mind, could be chosen as my redeemer, but I won’t. The only truth is that I just couldn’t do it, too nervous, so I failed. The thought of going over to my neighbors and saying hi freaked me out inside. The whole situation just sounded awful inside my head. I kept trying figure out what I would say, even telling the truth sounded weird. If a stranger came over to talk with me, because of some challenge, I would be confused. More lame excuses, I was just too scared to talk to someone.

My roommate told me I should go over to a friend’s house and meet his roommates. This sounded like a feasible idea and at least I would know someone. My roommate also came with me as moral support too. The first problem was that we had no idea which apartment he lives in. They have an with an upper and lower apartment, so we randomly chose the upper. I knocked on the door, still not knowing what to say, and a stranger opened the door. I say stranger because I should have just tried talking to this guy, but sadly I didn’t. We guessed wrong because my friend did not live there. Actually, my friend happened to be out of town for the weekend, so I was again strangerless. I remained this way for the rest of the night.

Today did not go as I had planned, and I have to remind myself that I am human, an imperfect being. I still have lots to learn about conquering my fears and getting back up from failure. As there will be times when I fail, like today, and I have to choose to learn from it and try harder next time.  As Albert Einstein would say, “you never fail until you stop trying” because true failure comes from giving up. It looks like I am going to have to take this challenge one step at a time, learning from every experience. Since I go to college, there will be more opportunities for me to talk to someone during the weekdays. Hopefully, I can build up some confidence before the next weekend.

My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Using the wall, I continued trying to do a handstand and I did it three times today. Mostly, I need to improve my shoulder strength and balance. My arms just get way too tired after holding myself up for a minute.


Day 12 Hidden Rose

Cold, shivering, freezing, painful, and uncomfortable all describe how I feel when I am taking a cold shower at my new place. The past two showers have been horrible, and the entire time I’m just wish it would end. Just admitting that makes me feel weak but I have to. I remind myself again and again that it is only five minutes and that I made it through the other cold showers. However, nothing I say changes my mind, which seems to be begging me to get out. The cold shower challenge is difficult because it pushes your mentality every morning. Any weakness is exploited and causes the entire experience to feel much worse.

I decided to save money on gas, mini challenge, and bike to my classes, about two miles one way. Not super far but the path is hilly and I haven’t biked in a few years. I also go to the gym in between classes. So my stamina has been weakened lately. The problem is that freaking cold shower remains a powerful force of discomfort and it just plain sucks. It is far colder than any shower I have taken before and I can’t seem to calm my body down during it. I find myself complaining about it throughout the day. It’s like a completely different experience than the ones before. This is causing me to feel less enthusiastic about my morning challenge. I have to be strong everyday when taking a freezing cold shower because they are not pleasant, they are not forgiving, and they will break you down, if you let them.

This is great though! Actually, it is amazing, fantastic, and wonderful! I have found a cold shower worthy of my fear and therefore found a limit in my life. I have finally delimited a part of my life but I just did not realize it. I had pushed up against it and my mind recoiled in panic, clouding my thoughts. Reflection helped me realize that I had finally come to a barrier in my life where I was not comfortable. I had a choice, to see thorns or roses! I chose to rejoice at my new challenge, my rose, to be conquered and surpassed so that I may continue to delimit my life!

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. ~ Abraham Lincoln

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