Day 15 Lacking Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is not something easily described or explained to someone. It would seem one either has it or does not. Still someone can be confidence in writing but not public speaking. So when I was asked by someone close to me for advice on how to be confident, I did not really know how to reply. My answer was you have to find it within yourself. But that was not good enough, the answer needed to say exactly how, and all I gave was a vague solution. It was practically something out of a fortune cookie. I got a little frustrate because how do you tell someone how to find self-confidence. Their insecurity already tells me that they don’t believe in themselves. You cannot teach someone, you can only guide them to the answer rings inside my head. I know how challenging freshman year can be, first time away from home, no friends, and a new city, so I wanted to find a better answer.
The definition is trusting in the abilities, qualities, and judgment of oneself. However, I am trying to find something concrete and that definition is pretty compact. If you take away all the filler then the real essence of the definition is trust. You have to trust yourself! This meaning that you need to trust yourself to perform reliably in different situations. But do you actually trust yourself? Realize, that you have defined, molded, and created the person you are today and no one knows you better than you do. So how much do you actually know? In order to establish some trust, you have to be confident with who you are as a person. Then by figuring that out, you discover your individuality and what makes you amazing. Self-confidence is just the bonus of knowing your strengths and weaknesses.
However, trust is often earned slowly, over time, and lost quickly. Children make new friend on a whim, no thinking, but as they get older they lose this ability. Too many previous failures or rejections but somehow their trust and faith in themselves is lost. The trust must be rebuilt where it was lost by having the courage get past the failures and move forward. Repeated practice to bring new successful experiences! It’s similar to me practicing my oral presentations over and over so that I trust myself to perform under-pressure. I may feel horrible before I speak, sickened with nervousness, but I do it! I even find myself having fun after I start. Understand that self-confidence does not mean you become fearless, it means you have trust and faith in who you are.
Sorry, there is no simple answer, only a journey of self-discover in which you must take the first step.
The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you. ~ William Jennings Bryan