Delimit My Life

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing" ~ Hellen Keller

A Month Without Video Challenge and Life Updates

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A Month Without Video (Started 4/13/15):
I continuously find myself watching one online videos after another in a never-ending procrastination loop. I watch Good Mythical Morning (a YouTube show) every morning with my breakfast, more YouTube series while I eat lunch at work, TV shows during dinner, and I continue to watch more videos in the times between. Even after I have finished eating, I procrastinate by continuing to watching more videos. I can easily waste hours just clicking through random videos without a thought. I finally decided this habit was detrimental to my work, my life, and my valuable time. If I wanted to make the most out of my life (which I do!) then watching videos was not going to cut it. Delimit my life! With that statement in mind, I decided on this challenge to break the habit and take back my free time.

The challenge is to go an entire month without watching any videos (or TV shows) on the internet or TV. The only exception is watching a movie at a theater since this is a defined activity. I also rarely go to the movies theaters, but I can easily waste an entire weekend watching movies on my computer.

It has been three days since I started this challenge and it has been difficult. I am starting to realize how ingrained this habit was into my life and trying to break it has been interesting. Every time I make breakfast, I get this feeling of excitement as I walk up the stairs to my room thinking about watching Good Mythical Morning. I never realized I felt this way until now because I get a sudden sadness as I realized I cannot watch it. This happens after every meal or anytime I feel like I need a break! I make food I think about watching a video; I sit at my desk I think about watching a video; I get bored I think about watching a video. I cannot stop thinking about watching something. I realize that I do this because I want to distract myself. I do not want to be thinking or doing something. I want to let go and waste time. Every time, a sadness hits me. Luckily, the feeling does not bother me since I can reason why I am feeling it. I can then quickly change my thoughts to just enjoying the food or appreciating the free time to think. This challenge has also lead me to feel FoMo (the fear of missing out), which is something I do not normally feel. It is an irrational fear but I still find myself with thoughts that I am going to miss out on something.

Life Updates:

Since my last post, I have completed a few challenges (some major and some minor):

  1. Accepted into graduate school for my PhD. This is the most significant change and challenge in my life since starting this blog. The process of applying to grad school was intense and there were days I definitely wanted to quit everything. I did not have any free time as I pushed through my undergrad research, taking the GREs (basically hell), applying to grad schools, and completing my final year of undergrad. After being accepted, I moved to a new state, met new people, and basically started a new life. It has been a challenging experience so far, and I will continue enjoy the journey.
  2. My diet now consists of only plant foods (fruits, grains, beans, etc.). I have been eating a whole foods plant-based diet for well over a year now. I started off just going without meat for a week, because at the time I was so dependent on meat that just a week seemed insane. My attitude towards food has changed immensely since then and my health and fitness has increase.
  3. I started a new years resolution for 2015 to touch my toes with straight legs as a flexibility challenge. I recently accomplished this after three months (end of march) of consistent stretching. The challenge now is to touch my toes cold (not having to warm up and stretch).
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Water Fasting for 36 Hours

Plato Fasting

Since my first water fast, last week, I thought that it would even more challenging to increase the time to a full 36 hours. This would require me to go an entire day without eating and then go to sleep hungry. In particular, it was the idea of going to sleep on a starving stomach that made me a little nervous. Normally, I will just grab a snack at night, if I happen to be hungry, because I find the feeling rather uncomfortable. It’s also a strange thought to not eat anything for an entire day. However, this experience has made me realize that I have been eating food everyday for my entire life without ever stopping. Doesn’t that sound a little strange too? Read more…

Talking to strangers (Week 1)

make friends

In order to face my fear of talking to new people, I have set the challenge to talk to a stranger everyday.  It has been a rocky start and it continues to be a challenge.

Read more…

A lucid dream, but no flying!

lucid dream

I have had some crazy dreams in my life and most involving some weird stuff happening to me. I find them amusing because they tell a bazaar and crazy story of how my mind works. Therefore, in the pursuit of discovery, I have attempted many times to lucid dream, to be awake while dreaming. It is not something you can just do, and it takes a large amount of practice and repetition to get the pattern of consciousness to be recognizable in a dream. For me, it happened when I wasn’t even attempting to lucid dream. No, I was actually practicing mediation as a way to cope with stress. It trained me to recognize when my mind started to drift which correlates well in the dream world.

*This dream came when I was dealing with a bad break up and my mind was having a hard time coping with it.

I was sitting on an outdoor table looking at myself from above. Some family members were there and they were all talking and laughing. I never saw any of them, I don’t normally see people, but I could feel that they were there. It’s like walking around with ghost and I only see them if I have a direct contact. Everything was mostly gray and yellow not much color to be seen. It’s a dream so I have no knowledge of what caused me to turn to my right, but there before my eyes was my ex-girlfriend smiling at me. Out of grief and angry, I though “what the hell, you are not supposed to be here” so I swung my arm around to her chest and push her as hard as I could. She flew back, out of my view, in an almost cartoonish speed. I looked forward, to only then glance back, and there she was sitting and smiling at me. Shock punched me in the stomach, but then I realize something. Other than the fact that she materialize back, breaking logical flow, she was no longer my girlfriend so in mind there was no reason for her to be smiling at me.

For the first time, I realized that I was in dreaming. I stood up from my seat and I found myself in the driveway of my old houses next to my car. I kept telling myself to stay calm, repeating it like in mediation, so that I would not wake up. Then I had a thought. I have never flown in a dream so I looked up and jumped, to only fall right back down. Yeah, it frustrated me quickly when I realized that now that I was conscious the dream world had to work in a rational manner. Still, I try several times to fly but I never succeed. With my loss of focus, I soon woke up.

At least, I thought I did. I can’t really be sure because I remember waking up and then going back to sleep but that could have all been a dream too. My mind is very good at playing tricks on me.

Not all lucid dreams are useful but they all have a sense of wonder about them. If you must sleep through a third of your life, why should you sleep through your dreams, too? ~ Stephen LaBerge

Love is more complicated than a fairytale

Losing-your-first-love

You may say of course, no shit, but I was victim to forever, living in a fairytale with a story book ending. I was lost in a state of mind where love never faded and it had no limits. No place to hide or run away. It was simply boundless, overflowing from my heart, with nowhere to go but to her. There are no words to fully describe her. In my mind, she was more than human, more than she could be, and I placed her on such a high pedestal that I never realized I left her behind. Continue on…

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